Homeless gnome
While making landscape changes at a client’s house I happened to discover a garden gnome buried inside a cedar hedge. She was obviously homeless and needed a good wash but my client had no use for her. So I put her into my car and forgot about her. I’m busy.
Now fast forward several months. I decided to have some fun and post my homeless garden gnome on Facebook marketplace. The ad read “Garden gnome needs a new home and a bath, $15”.
It didn’t take long for people to start messaging me. Facebook Marketplace works like a charm! But, some of the people who surf the internet looking for homeless garden gnomes are weird. One lady wanted more pictures and exact measurements. I had no intention of doing extra work just to pocket $15.
Another lady called and tried to low-ball me with a $5 discount. And I would have taken it, except we couldn’t find a time to meet. She shuttled kids all day and could only meet in the morning; I work full-time and I don’t deliver dirty $15 garden gnomes.
Eventually, this lady gave up, saying “it wasn’t meant to be” which seemed a bit dramatic. We’re talking about a dirty garden gnome, not a romantic partner or a fantastic job opportunity.
Sold!
It wasn’t meant to be because Theresa called and she was motivated. She drove over to my workplace and shoved her un-sanitized money envelope into my hand as she picked up her new garden gnome. “She’s pretty” is all she said, got back in her car and drove off, thereby proving that you can sell anything on Facebook marketplace. Even dirty, abandoned garden gnomes. I imagine the gnome will look pretty in her garden.
Facebook marketplace works well because most people have well-established Facebook profiles. Just make sure you meet in a decent public space. The best place to meet is in front of your local police station.
