The worst lawn care favour

I love to help people, I really do. But I know what’s coming when people call me, desperate, about their out of control lawns. Well, actually, their lawns resemble meadows.

I have a friend who hates garden work and only calls me when things get desperate. I’ve written a blog about his outrageous front yard because I enjoy seeing people who don’t care about competing with their neighbours.

You said yes?

So, what happens when you say yes to your friend’s request for help? This actually comes up a lot in questions on Quora.com which is why I think it deserves its own blog post.

Since the meadow grass is long enough to reproduce sexually we can’t just run at it with the push mower. Because the grass is long it strains the mower too much. And I’m not about to blow up a machine that makes me money.

Knock it down

First, we must knock it down a bit with a line edger. This is why this is the worst lawn care favour: it takes longer than a standard lawn cut. You’re essentially cutting the neglected lawn twice.

Then comes the slow, tedious part when you mow the lawn. Your bag fills up very quickly so keep your tarps or bins close by. Leave any stray grass clippings on the lawn; they will fertilize the lawn for free. It’s very unlikely my friend will be applying fertilizer to his lawn; he’d have to spend more money and see me more often.

Happy?

Congratulations! You bravely attacked your friend’s meadow and solved his problem. But deep down you know that this is the worst lawn care favour.

I normally encourage people to call me more often, before their lawns turn into wild meadows. A gentle hint about higher future charges sometimes helps.

As for my friend, I know for sure he’ll be calling me again when his neighbours start whispering. And yes, I will be there to help him.